Father Dishonored; Mother Dishonored, 8-4-2010

 I learned this evening, Dad is stressed out, losing weight, coughing, and pretty much feeling like shit. I am certain I am the cause of his stress. In fact, I feel certain I am killed my father. I do not feel like the playboy of the western world. My life misspent already, this is another burden. How does 12 years imprisonment in nay way remove my dishonor from my parents' names, their memory? How do I forget the injury I did to them? i do not see how the federal Sentencing Guidelines compensates my parents for my sins against them. Twelve years may be a long time for my crimes, but not much if you include all my other sins. Being alive now consists only of frustration – death would be the fitting punishment for the shame I brought on my parents.

sch