Thursday, August 20, 2026

6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 3

[I am back working through my pretrial detention journal. It is out of order… Well, the order is as I have opened boxes. The date in the title is the date it was written. I hope this is not confusing. Consider this post as more of an aborted memoir. What you are reading is what you get for your tax dollars. Continued from 6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 2 sch 8/14/2026 

I spent most of 1988 licking my wounds over T1. There was an encounter with Cindy—a wonderfully erotic and tender pair of encounters - but she would not go out with me again. There was a bit of shared history from college that she could not get over. She never knew that she had just to snap her fingers. Delicate, sweet Cindy married in 2008 or 2009. I wish her well.

And there was an encounter with Shelly about then. Questions raised since high school got an answer of sorts. Having dated what seemed like all my friends. I was curious about her charms. She proved TJ's theory that great sex requires love, passion. I would go so far as to say that good sex requires affection for one another. Never go to bed with a woman who does not laugh.

 Then I spent a considerable time mooning over LAH again. She would invate and then push away when I got too close.

And then I met Paula of Bloomington while working for a bill collector. Her wit led me to ask her for a date. She possessed all the energy and loveliness of TJ. Sandy-haired and buxom. Wonderfully energetic in bed with a habit of scratching one's back. Her two children were her life. If I had the nerve then to become a stepfather; it would have been an interesting marriage. I lost track of Paula after 1998. She shared another quality with TJ: the world was with her in it. Perhaps my affection for Bloomington has a lot to do with Paula.

I think time has come Regina. Another on/off relationship with her for a few years.  I lost track of her between 1993 and 2008. I saw her at the Madison County Government Center. She was even livelier than when we dated. Like T1, she was about 5'10”. Of women I should have married, she was number 3. Regina had the temper to keep me in line, the brains to keep me from getting bored, and a sex drive to keep us both busy. Unlike any other, the end of our relationship was not primarily because of my emotional disabilities. No, Regina felt her being African-American would cause me problems. Not that she ever asked me how I felt. She would tell my friend JH that I was the only white guy she would go out with. Regina never knew how much I loved her.

sch

[When I returned from prison, I found out Paula died in 2010. She had health problems when I knew her. Regina was the onlyex-girlfriend to write me in prison. Continued in 6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 4 sch 8/14/2026  

Wednesday, August 19, 2026

6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 2

[I am back working through my pretrial detention journal. It is out of order… Well, the order is as I have opened boxes. The date in the title is the date it was written. I hope this is not confusing. Consider this post as more of an aborted memoir. What you are reading is what you get for your tax dollars. Continued from 6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 1 sch 8/14/2026

KH threw a New Year's party in Anderson to which he invited me and T1. Not as a couple, not as a matchmaking venture. I have not mentioned T1 was 5'10”, had light-brown hair; that night she wore slacks, an Oxford shirt, a pink sweater, and a thin black leather tie. We drank, chatted, and flirted. I could not resist reminding her about her seeing me on her back porch and ruining her fun at a party in the summer. She blushed as pink as her seater. We were both intoxicated when midnight passed and she suggested I follow her back to her Muncie aprtment.

She was 21, and I learned a lot from her. T1's favorite movie was 9 1/2 Weeks.  She had the novel as well. I got a hint of what was to come that first night when she told me to tie her up. Clueless, I wrapped the tie around her thigh. She taught me different in the following months.

The relationship stopped at the end of the school year with a couple of eruptions after that. I have not heard much from her since I married. Although T1 married a fellow who did not like me and has been married the second-longest of my friends, there were vibes given off that she disapproved of my marriage. I think like most of my ex-girlfriends, she did better without me than with me. I find solace in that.

However, she has a more current reason for being angry at me. T1 is the mother of my only son. He contacted me through Facebook; I expected a phone call and never contacted him before my arrest. She had opted for an open adoption, so he knew who I was. His birth ended my sexual relationship with T1 and the start of our friendship.

What followed was a bit more muddled. 

 sch

[I looked up T1 this year. It was a bit surreal. Yes, it had been over, or about, 20 years since I saw her. She did not recognize me. She had no interest in speaking with me, but was not outright rude. About our son, she made it clear that they had not spoken in years. Our son knows how to reach me; he has not. I do not think it would be good for him to be associated with me, so I stay silent. Continued in 6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 3. sch 8/14/2026]

On Writing: Interiority

 [Moving stuff back from my abandoned WordPress blog.]

Lincoln Michel's Counter Craft on Substack has been a source for ideas and instruction. Do check out his The View from Inside: On Adding Interiority to Your Fiction.

In fiction, interiority is relating the internal world of a character to the reader. Their thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, anxieties, memories, motivations, and so on. This is a simple yet consequential thing. Every one of us lives simultaneously in the external shared world and our own private worlds. These two realities are constantly colliding, separating, and distorting each other, whether that’s something as small as snapping at a friend because you are “hangry” or having a life-altering epiphany at the image of, I dunno, a dove flying over a lake that symbolically completes your character arc because you are a protagonist in a literary fiction short story published in a university literary magazine.

I kid, a bit. Still, it is true that our interior worlds are as vast as anything outside of them. If your fiction is missing interiority, it is leaving quite a lot out. This is true in a grander, philosophical sense yet also in a very practical craft sense. Readers tend to connect to stories through the emotions and desires of the POV character(s), and interiority provides that connection. The simplest story structure might be a character wants something but obstacles get in the way. This is a classic and powerful story, but only when the reader understands the character’s wants.

Interiority provides far more than just desires and goals. An interesting character will typically have a gap between how they act or speak and how they think or feel. Here’s an old CW class chestnut: In every scene, you should know what a character says they want, what they think they want, and what they really want. This can be applied to anything from prize-winning literary novels to pulpy superhero films. In this scene, the villain, Dr. Evilguy, says to the security guard that he wants to just use the bathroom but what he thinks he wants is to steal the blasto-ray 4000 omegagun prototype and conquer the city yet what he really wants, deep down, is to please the daddy that never loved them.

sch 6/3 

 

 

Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Indiana Thieves - Old and New

We have a history of criminality in Indiana that we hide in a closest.


But reading The problem with going solar in Indiana (Indiana Capital Chronicle) makes me think we still have plenty of theives hanging about:

In most states, if you deposit 20 kWh of power during the afternoon (as is usual on a typical sunny day), you get a full 1-to-1 credit to withdraw those same 20 kWh later that night. While states like Florida, Ohio, and Iowa protect 1-to-1 net metering as a matter of property rights and energy freedom, Indiana’s Senate Enrolled Act 309 created an artificial government price control that penalizes Hoosier families for investing in their own homes.

Passed in 2017, the law allows electric companies to harvest those same 20 kWh of afternoon power from you and immediately sell them to your neighbors for $3.00 (the full $0.15/kWh retail price), while crediting you just $0.70 (the discounted $0.035/kWh wholesale rate). When you pull that same power back out of the grid that night, they charge you $3.00 once again. That leaves the homeowner getting back less than 25% of the energy value they deposited just hours earlier.

 I am surprised no one has litigated this. 

sch 8/18 

6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 1

[I am back working through my pretrial detention journal. It is out of order… Well, the order is as I have opened boxes. The date in the title is the date it was written. I hope this is not confusing. Consider this post as more of an aborted memoir. What you are reading is what you get for your tax dollars. sch 8/14/2026

Gunshy as I was from breaking up with TJ, I did not hurry into another romantic relationship with any woman. I blamed myself for all that had gone wrong.

I got attached to LAH during my second semester of law school. She was Bones back then. Like me she came from Central Indiana. Unlike any of our other classmates. Blonde hair, firm breasts, thin, who was always being hailed home on weekends by her mother. Scared and lonely as I was at law school. We had one date while in law school.  She transferred to the IU Indianapolis Law School for her second year. I took her out a few times during the summer of 1985. It was difficult to ignore her. I dropped by one time, she wore jeans with the seat ripped out and a white cotton T-shirt that only accentuated her breats. I came close to those breasts during that summer. I lay on the floor of her parents' basement looking at the first naked breasts I had seen since the previous year. Only I made the mistake of smiling. (What else could one do when confronted by such a beautiful, wondrous sight?) She stood up, got dressed, and had me leave soon after. She thought I was laughing at her.

That began a relationship that lasted on and off with me dealing with her mental health issue and getting repaid with scorn until 2005. It ended when I told her I was to marry. She said I would end up in the gutter. Why did it go on for so long? It was not sex. We made it to bed only twice, then it was platonic. It was me who suggested she take up women. No, LAH had no other friends, and I thought I could help her. I must admit that her prophecy came true. She played with my head like it was a revolver. My friends made it clear that if I ever let her back in my life they would drop me. I hope her mental health is now better than mine.

The one who saved me was E. She came after me. I can say it is a very pleasant surprise to find a naked woman in one's walk-in closet. We remained friends but drifted apart as I went south and she remained in northern Indiana. I wish I ha felt financially comfortable enough to have taken up an offer she made me in 2009. She wanted me  to take time off and stay on her farm. Sorry, I did not do so E. The failure belongs solely to me.

T1 came into my life almost accidentally. Friends thinking I needed a feminine distraction invited me to a party in Muncie to meet a sure thing. (Which brings to mind Rob Reiner's The Sure Thing, and why is it seldom seen nowadays?) That was T1's roommate. Only she was too blonde, too thin, and too vacuous to interest me. Nor did I pay much attention to T1, she was attached to someone else and my mind was on TJ. This party was the longest time I spent in Muncie since breaking up with TJ. I stood on the back porch of T1's second floor apartment, looking over the neighborhood. I was only a few blocks from where I had disasterously impregnated TJ. I left soon after. I drove around the places in Muncie TJ and I had frequented in the old days (something I would do even after I finally married.)

 I did catch T1's eye. Seems she and her boyfriend were below me engaging in sex when she looked up and saw me standing there. I became a coitus interruptus without becoming aware of it. My mind, my eyes were on 1984. I did not know what I had done until months later, after a call from KH telling what had transpired below me. It gave me a  good laugh and a little guilt at spoiling T1's fun. The next time we met things went differently.

sch 

[Continued in 6-6-2010: The Women In My Life; Part 2. sch 8/14/2026]

The Inauspicous Beginnings of Another Week in Muncie

 I got out and about yesterday. I fixed the problems with Xfinity, had brunch at Jersey Mike's and shopped at Aldi's.

I had to schlep my groceries from University to Riverside, a walk about 4 short blocks, and that did me in for most of the day. 

It was a gloomy day and humid. It was one of those Indiana's days when it's like living in a warm, damp sponge.

I slept most of the afternoon and into the evening. Then I could not sleep. I watched a bit more of Penny Dreadful. I had seen most of it years ago and am finishing it up. I like its variations on the idea of Alan Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It also made an interesting comment on Frankenstein, that he could create but had no interest in nurture. There is something to think about in that; especially in light of Mary Shelley being Frankenstein's creator.

I went down to the convenience store when I finally felt the energy to move about. A blue, clear sky above, a coolness in the wind, and a pleasant deficit of humidity.

The time since has been spent on reading online articles and answering emails. I do not feel like I have the energy to work on a short story that I have in the works. Perhaps the article.  

CRAFT rejected “After Making Landfall”:

Thank you for sending "After Making Landfall" to CRAFT for consideration. We appreciate the opportunity to review your work. At this time, however, we must say no to this piece. Best of luck placing this one elsewhere soon.

Best,

The Editors 

I did not realize the connection between 9:45 p.m. update: In Madison County: 'Flood cleanup kits,' microbursts and a Fall Creek crest (heraldbulletin.com), One American dinner staple faces a historic shortage with no quick fix (Fox Business) and White River cresting around Martinsville | Monday A.M. River Update Across Indiana (wthr.com) until today. Climate change.

There was some debate during the group session last week about what was meant by a hundred year flood, and I learned with were all wrong. U.S. Geological Survey's The 100-Year Flood explains:

"100-year floods can happen 2 years in a row"

Statistical techniques, through a process called frequency analysis, are used to estimate the probability of the occurrence of a given precipitation event. The recurrence interval is based on the probability that the given event will be equaled or exceeded in any given year. For example, assume there is a 1 in 50 chance that 6.60 inches of rain will fall in a certain area in a 24-hour period during any given year. Thus, a rainfall total of 6.60 inches in a consecutive 24-hour period is said to have a 50-year recurrence interval. Likewise, using a frequency analysis (Interagency Advisory Committee on Water Data, 1982) there is a 1 in 100 chance that a streamflow of 15,000 cubic feet per second (ft3/s) will occur during any year at a certain streamflow-measurement site. Thus, a peak flow of 15,000 ft3/s at the site is said to have a 100-year recurrence interval. Rainfall recurrence intervals are based on both the magnitude and the duration of a rainfall event, whereas streamflow recurrence intervals are based solely on the magnitude of the annual peak flow.

Ten or more years of data are required to perform a frequency analysis for the determination of recurrence intervals. Of course, the more years of historical data the better—a hydrologist will have more confidence on an analysis of a river with 30 years of record than one based on 10 years of record.

Integrity has been so diminished of late but I was shocked by Capitalism, as Told by Its Enemies - Phillip W. Magness, Caleb Petitt (The Dispatch). No one is perfect, no human being sees all; therefore, intellectual integrity requires us to admit as much. Mr. Magness and Mr. Pettit provide what such integrity should look like:

A more balanced entry on capitalism for the SEP could have offered a constructive assessment of this subject, its history, and the contemporary state of scholarship around it. Such an entry could still have room for critics in the Marxist and many other socialist traditions, but they would not have the disproportionate dominance found in Cordelli’s piece. Instead, a better entry might include serious engagement with the Scottish Enlightenment precursors to the emergence of market capitalism in the late 18th century, with references to David Hume’s work on trade and currency, as well as something more than superficial references to Adam Smith. 

It might also discuss how the ideas we call “capitalism” came to supplant an older mercantilist economic order that used government policies to steer an economy for nationalistic objectives. It might also discuss the period of both political and philosophical contestation between the “capitalist” and “Marxian communist” worlds following the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 and culminating in the collapse of the latter in 1991. It could discuss in greater depth the theoretical contributions of institutionalist economists like Ronald Coase, Oliver Williamson, and Douglass North in the mid-20th century around the theory of a market economy. It might mention Deirdre McCloskey’s work on the Great Enrichment as a positive argument for what we colloquially refer to as capitalism. And it might explore the tensions between these and other theorists of market capitalism. As it stands, this rich and complex academic literature receives nary a mention beyond a few passing citations.

Since capitalism is fundamentally an economic concept, one could reasonably expect to see mainstream economic voices discussed, and competently so, by someone versed in economic theory. There would be a clear description of how profits work both as signals of demand and incentives for entrepreneurship, how competition between firms disciplines market actors, how market prices make economic calculation possible by signaling the relative scarcity of goods in a common denominator, and how government policies contribute to the creation of monopolies. Marxist and socialist critiques of capitalism from the far left would also be balanced with mainstream economic critiques of socialism. Early in the 20th century, there was famously a debate among economists over whether socialist central planners were capable of engaging in economic calculation. The economists who argued against the possibility of socialist calculation ultimately won the debate—though one would not know this from reading Cordelli’s entry.

Welfarist arguments for capitalism would not be confined to a single paragraph, and would describe in detail how free-market capitalism has been responsible for lifting the world out of poverty. The way that capitalism incentivizes entrepreneurship, and the role entrepreneurs play in arbitrage and the creation of new goods and services, would play a more important role than the entry’s single paragraph on Joseph Schumpeter, the first economist to make entrepreneurship central to the understanding of economic development and change. 

The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s unwillingness to select an author for the entry on capitalism who could provide a charitable or even neutral assessment of the concept is ultimately unscholarly. In the 20th century, socialism resulted in the deaths of tens of millions of people, and capitalism and free markets were the critical factors for lifting billions out of poverty, and yet it is socialism that received the positive encyclopedia entry and capitalism that garnered the hate. Such imbalances could only emerge from an academic environment in which an ideological echo chamber supplants rigorous peer review, and the fashionable socialist perspectives of the professoriate lead it to mistake bad caricatures of a market economy for descriptive fact.

Humility requires we acknowledge our failings.

sch 

Mario Vargas Llosa, The Odyssey, A Confederacy of Dunces, and Irvine Welsh Walk Into A Bar

One thing lacking during prison was information.  I did not read Llosa, “A Confederacy of Dunces”, or Irvine Welsh until then and without much context. I keep my eye out for articles that will fill in the context for me.

 The Odyssey piece is here because it is so big this summer.

 I hope this helps your education, too.

Mario Vargas Llosa by Gerald Martin review – the Peruvian leftist who fell in love with Margaret Thatcher  (The Guardian)

Gabriel García Márquez is the book’s foil: the magician to Vargas Llosa’s realist, the man who stayed with the leftist tribe while his lesser rival abandoned it. Martin, now the biographer of both, is uniquely placed to reconstruct the most famous right hook in literary history. In 1976, Vargas Llosa floored García Márquez with a punch after allegedly accusing him of overstepping the mark by comforting Patricia during the collapse of their marriage.

The punch marked more than a personal rupture. It sealed an ideological one. García Márquez later remarked that there were only “two soups on the menu”: capitalism and socialism. Vargas Llosa turned up his nose at one and spent the rest of his life gorging himself on the other.

China understands The Odyssey better than we do | The Spectator

The party is afraid not of Plato but of Uighurs, whom it has smeared as terrorists and agitators. What the party actually wants from the ancient Greeks is a pedigree. In November 2024, Chinese President Xi Jinping sent a letter to the first World Conference of Classics in Beijing, urging scholars to “embrace the responsibility of advancing classical studies.” A Chinese School of Classical Studies now operates in Athens. A Chinese translation series of western classics, which includes Plato, Aristotle and Rousseau, has sold tens of millions of copies across a thousand titles over four decades.

The West is putting the same inheritance on trial. In December 2024 the British government moved to end the £4 million Latin Excellence Programme. The program had carried Latin into 40 non-selective state schools, where more than a third of pupils were eligible for free school meals. Education Secretary Gavin Williamson had launched it to stop Latin being reserved for “the privileged few.”

The pressure comes from more than one direction. In January 2026, Texas A&M University ordered a philosophy professor to remove readings from Plato’s Symposium from an introductory ethics course or be reassigned, under a new university policy against teaching “race and gender ideology.”
On the academic left, the pressure is harder to describe. The Princeton classicist Dan-el Padilla Peralta has written that classics was “a cheat code for mastering whiteness.” In that reading, the ancient work must answer our quarrels before it is allowed to tell us anything of its own.

On August 14, The Odyssey opens across most of China’s nearly 800 IMAX screens. More than 250,000 people had registered to see it before tickets went on sale. They probably won’t ask whether Homer needs forgiving. That was always our question, not his.

You might want to think about this one. I am. All the cultural malarkey imposed on us by neurotic, insecure boys like Elon Musk and his online cohorts does not address the poem. All that interests them is their obsessions and terrors for which they want to make use of Homer and his descendants.

How ‘A Confederacy of Dunces’ Skewers the Lit Bro Before He Even Existed (Literary Yard) helped me understand a novel that I thought had not aged well and whose protagonist irritated me to no end.

If you finish that novel thinking “Ignatius gets it”, well brother, you don’t get it. And that’s the most Ignatius thing about you.

The dunces were never in a confederacy against Ignatius. He was a confederacy of one, at war with reality. And you will never win that war, no matter how many times you quote Boethius.

Trust me on this one.

I am. Perhaps my understanding was affected by being in prison, reading the novel in isolation, without any knowledge of lit bros.

‘Am I 68? 69?’ Irvine Welsh on growing old, getting clean, bashing out his new novel – and flirting with guns (The Guardian) because I read The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins while in prison and had seen the movie Trainspotting.

Can Nothing Save Us? is published this month, but it has a long back story. Welsh originally thought he was collecting material for an HBO pilot on the superstar DJ – this was in 2014 – with his friend Calvin Harris. (Welsh also DJs and co-owns a record label.) From the DJ boxes of Vegas, he’d look out at “this ugly scene where middle-aged sleazy guys grind up against young women who’ve been comped for the clubs” – but the project stalled and Welsh realised he had the makings of something different: “A novel about modern America.”

He gave the draft to his editor and some writer friends. “And they all said the same thing. ‘This is shit!’”

Welsh re-read it. “Fuck, they’re right,” he thought.

Rejection must be unfamiliar to a multimillion-selling novelist. But Welsh did manage to sell the screen rights, and while he watched the writers’ room work through his pages, he became “a voyeur of my own material” and understood how to fix his novel.

 sch 8/8