Group Notes 5/8 -5/22/2026

  I got behind on my session notes, the last I can find is from 1/2/2026, and so let's go.

5/1 No notes 

5/8

Recapping schema

Mental representations

Schema = sum total of everything in your head. 

Experience - emotional reasoning (I feel therefore I am) 

Then negative thinking- giving it undue attention.

Black & white - all or nothing. Thinking at extremes.

1. Overgeneralization - all or nothing
1. Always being right (for no good purpose)
2. Fallacy of fairness (put same in, get same reqard) 
2. Fortune telling: assume outcome
3. Self-fulfilling prejudices
4. catastrophizing

[Goes back to 1/16 .]

5/15: 

Control fallacy - [Goes back to 2/6.]

1. overresponsibilities - how things are happening - micromanagement
2. powerless - things happen to you

 (but if the facts show you are persecuted?)

 

Has to be no rational basis.

 

Blaming others - definition of powerlessness - condemnation [Goes back to 2/13.]

 

Discounting positive [Goes back to 2/20.] 

 

Fallacy of fairness

Always being right

What-ifs, more like?

(not a counterfactual - imaginative)

5/20 

Interventions [Goes back to 4/3.]

Journaling cont'd

go to labeling

1. cognitive disorders 

look for frequency,  impact what drives thought (conductor)

deal with impact most if something causes a lot of harm

(spiraling out of control?)

Then

So what? Treat as real & deal with it.

Make a plan.

Find the cause.

Change.

Paradoxical Intention - when to stop

Ask yourself questions

why this idea, why this feeling, what do I want?

Put all on yourself & ask for validation.

Bird's eye view (ostrich)

God's eye view

5/26 

About ostriches, have we ever wondered what the world looks like to an ostrich? I remember being rather close to an ostrich when the Irving family still had their exotic animals on their Hancock County property. Those are very large eyes. Just now a memory came to me from Moby Dick where Melville writes about the placement of the whale's eyes on opposite sides of the body and speculates on what this did to their vision. A bird's eyeview does exclude flightless birds, doesn't it?

I have a recurring thought that all we are being asked to do is to live an examined life. Always going back to the Greeks: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” We might as well read Plato, Aristotle, and Walden. Come to think of it, that is what I did in prison. Only I was not contributing to anyone's income.

This program reduces everything to emotions. Rationality is covert emotionalism. We are perpetual children; adolescents if we are lucky. Instead of confronting an adverse idea on a rational basis, it can be dismissed as mere emotions. This leaves me uncomfortable.

But now that I have caught up my notes, I am off for a Coke.

sch 

 

 

 

Group Session 4/2026

 I got behind on my session notes, the last I can find is from 1/2/2026, and so let's go.

4/3

How to identify

• journal
• label
• graying - scaled distortion
• listing evidence against
• list all possibilities

More towards anxiety issues:

1. So what?
2. Paradoxical intention 

4/10: 

PI (Paradoxical intention): chill out. okay to panic. Just because you have urges, no need to act.

1. ask yourself questions: *** cognitive, above or beyond situtation - get to an endgame/goal
2. next step - ask other person, questions wo/ shouldn't blaming & listen wo/ deflection. 

4/24: 

Taking a bird's eye view

Seeing things from above 

G.V. (God's view) - makes everything seem smaller 

Yep, that is all I have in my notes. Of course, we did our weekly check-ins. 

 I started this post on 4/24. This is what else I wrote then:

The fellow leading the group sessions on Friday said something on 4/24 about me getting out, as if I need to be more sociable. Having spent too much time the past two months being ill and lethargic and not getting much work done here, I would like to get out more.

I mentioned this issue to my friend E. She remarked that I have always been a loner. What I told her, it is not so much that I am a loner; I just do not want to impose on others or be imposed upon. Just being social to be social does not suit me. I prefer the friends I have, and what time I have left needs to be for them. This writing group I've been going to has been a good thing. I was talking to another friend last night. I do not feel trapped in my life, as I once did. It is also that I do not feel alone. 

Finding someone who might provide a better conversation than I what I get from my writing seems unlikely.or

Speaking of a global viewpoint, Austin Kleon's How to get some cosmic perspective gives a better explanation of this idea.

sch 5/26

Worth A Milliion In Prizes

 I wish I were worth a million. I have not felt like a red cent (a phrase soon to be archaic) in months. 

 

Some posts started, almost forgotten, and that I am including here. 

5/15:

I revised “After Making Landfall” because Pangyrus had a deadline of tonight and it seemed a good idea. I had already written up the changes I wanted to me (well, some of them). 

I have done nothing more than glance at the opening page of The Washington Review of Books, but it looks interesting enough to pass along. It is another Substack. 

I cut 2000 words last night from “Unintended” so I could get it into Apex Magazine, but I had sent it there 2 years ago and it would not let me submit. So, I sent it to Clarkesworld. 

I'm going to send “Psychotic Ape” to Apex, but I had sent it there 2 years ago and it would not let me submit. Intead, I sent it to Interzone.

Sound busy? Dishes need washed.

I did the CT scan yesterday. Today, I am getting a car and going on a road trip tomorrow, down to Versailles. I am finally trying to do something concrete about “Chasing Ashes”.
And that is life, so far. 

[What I wrote about my attempts at a road trip are: 5-17-2026: Anderson to Indianapolis; a Day of Futility and 5/18-5/19/2026: Muncie to Indy to Muncie to Anderson.]

5/20

This I wrote last Wednesday. 

Thank you for submitting to New Letters. Although we are not able to publish your work at this time, please be assured that we value your submission and your interest.

Our general reading period is open. You may also send fiction, poetry, and essays to our award programs with yearly deadlines in mid-May.  Awards total $8,000.00 annually.

Thanks, again, for thinking of New Letters.

With best wishes,

 And:

Thank you for sending us "After Making Landfall." Although we must decline your submission at this time, we appreciated the chance to consider it.

We hope you are well and wish you and your work all the best. 

Sincerely,

-Pangyrus Literary Magazine 

Pretty sure this was the day that I learned my problem is a bilateral hernia. Surgery in my future.

Maybe I went to Payless. Pretty sure I went down to the convenience store.

I did go to the writer's meeting. 

Maybe I went to Walmart.

5/21: a bad day spent at the apartment writing. I started on my constitutional law research project. "The Psychotic Ape" rejected:

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your submission. Unfortunately, this particular piece is not right for the magazine. I wish you all the best with your writing, and I hope you'll send Interzone another story in the future.

Yours sincerely,

Gareth Jelley, Editor
Interzone 

5/22: CC reappeared. I was so angry at her. I decided it was wrong to be so angry, and I helped her out. I was bothered enough by how angry I had been since Saturday that I went to Vespers and did confession.

5/23: Walmart for groceries. Worked on my research project. Dealt with the pain.

5/24: Church for Liturgy, home to write and sleep. CC showed up. Angry, chattering, she distracted me from my work. Instead of staying, she left. I went back to work.

 5/25: Memorial Day. CC did not reappear. I worked myself senseless on my research project. Started catching up on my notes for blog posts. A very bad night. 

A rejection:

I appreciate your considering AZURE: A Journal of Literary Thought as a potential platform for "Pieces About A Small Indiana Factory Town, 1976 - 1984". The piece is not quite right for us, but I do understand that much time and effort goes into the literary realization of a creative thought; I earnestly wish you luck in placing it with the right journal.

Though we do not have the resources to provide personal feedback for each submission, what I can illuminate (for the curious) is that--much like those of most journals--our decisions are highly subjective, merely matters of taste and style. Just as one opts for certain books (and not others) from a vast shelf, we choose the works that compel us personally, fully recognizing that others are of equal merit, standing in wait to dazzle another potential reader. After all, diversity in aesthetics is precisely what makes the array of literature beautiful.

To fulfilling successes in your writing life!

Best,

Sakina B. Fakhri

 

 

 5/26: So far, I finished with my group meeting notes, went to Walmart, and almost fell asleep in the bath tub. I'm still recuperating from the flaring up of pain last night. No word from CC. Planning to get on with catching up the blog posts. They are being published today. And theere is one rejection today.

Thank you so much for submitting Love Stinks, but I'm afraid we are going to pass on this. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

Best wishes,
Jessica Bell
http://www.vineleavespress.com

 

sch 

 

Group Notes March 2026

 I got behind on my session notes, the last I can find is from 1/2/2026, and so let's go.

3/6 

Pattern recognition

(I see dead patterns.)

Persecution

Hallucinations

Superstitions

Group Session Notes February 2026

 I got behind on my session notes, the last I can find is from 1/2/2026, and so let's go.

2/6:

Overgeneralization

Fortune telling

Self-fulfilling prophecies

Catastrophizing

Control fallacies - about me or by me 

•  powerlessness
• personalization

2/13

Personalizations - our responsibilities

Powerlessness

Blaming - shoulds hard v. soft. 

2/20

Negative filtering

Discounting the positive

Always being wrong

Overgeneralization - fallacy of fairness

catastrophizing - what-ifs

Polarized thinking

• control fallacies
• Overresponsibility
• Powerlessness

2/27: no notes

Now for my notes on my notes:

Polarized Thinking in Psychology: Navigating the Black and White Mindset  

 Aaron Beck, the psychiatrist who developed cognitive therapy in the late 1970s, identified this pattern as a core feature of depression, a way the mind systematically strips out nuance and replaces it with harsh, binary verdicts. The term overlaps closely with what clinicians call splitting, a concept rooted in psychoanalytic theory describing the inability to hold contradictory qualities about a person or situation at the same time.

In everyday experience, it sounds like this: you give a presentation that goes well overall, but you stumble over one answer.

The polarized mind ignores the parts that worked and files the whole experience under “disaster.” Or you have one difficult day with your partner and suddenly conclude the relationship is broken. The event doesn’t have to be proportionate to the verdict, the verdict is automatic.

This is what makes all-or-nothing thinking so corrosive. It isn’t just pessimism. It’s a structural feature of cognition that filters out anything that doesn’t fit the extreme conclusion. 

Mental Filtering: Examples And How To Overcome 

Psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck, founder of cognitive therapy, noted that people often have automatic negative thoughts shaped by underlying beliefs or schemas.

These schemas distort perception, causing even neutral or positive events to seem negative. If someone believes “I’m not good enough,” they may filter out praise and fixate on the slightest criticism.

This pattern becomes self-reinforcing. Negative thoughts fuel painful emotions, which in turn strengthen the distortion.

Adding to this is the brain’s negativity bias — our built-in tendency to notice threats more than rewards. People may describe criticism as feeling so powerful that it becomes “obsessive”.

 13 Cognitive Distortions Identified in CBT

While occasional distorted thinking is normal, repeated patterns can reinforce mental health challenges and interfere with well-being. 

***

• Cognitive distortions are automatic, unhelpful thoughts that worsen anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
• There are 13 common types, including catastrophizing, mind reading, and black-and-white thinking.
• These patterns often stem from stress, trauma, or mental health conditions like OCD and ADHD.
• CBT helps people recognize and reframe distorted thoughts using tools like thought records and Socratic questioning.
• Self-help strategies include labeling behavior, replacing extreme language, and spotting positive aspects.

 sch 

Group Session Notes January 2026

 I got behind on my session notes, the last I can find is from 1/2/2026, and so let's go.

1/9:

Faith

What? Where? When? Who? Why? Experience - Reason - Fath- Skepticism.

1. Who gets me there?
2. Doubt leads to wisdom.

Plato = wisdom

Aristotle= experience

(No idea of history.)

 Hume to Descartes.

(I know that is backwards, just as I know Descartes was all rationality - “I think, therefore I am” - and Hume was more empirical. But I say nothing. Pulling him up is not really relevant to the day's dissertation. Pedantry will muddy things.)

Emotions: postmodern empiricism

Kant: pragmatic.

(I have no idea what was meant by “postmodern empiricism” since I was probably shocked by labeling Kant as pragmatic.) 

Kirkegard = existentialism, leap of faith.

scientism - confined to non-history and meaning impossible. 

(does he not mean presentism?)

Materialism - probabilism. What? Where?

1940s - measurement problems.

Framing problems.

Photos 5-17-2026

I finally figured out how to get the images off my camera. Starting with at church for St. Photini's feast day.

sch 5/20

 

Orthodox fellowship, if a little out of focus

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