[I am back working through my prison journal. It is out of order. Well, the order is as I have opened boxes. The date in the title is the date it was written. I hope this is not confusing. What you are reading is what you get for your tax dollars.
This is a long, long piece written while I was in pretrial detention but is not actually notes about pretrial detention. I quite preposterously labeled it as autobiography. However, the first 36 pages are missing, and so are the years 1978–May 1982. sch 5/4/2026]
TJ's Mom graduated college with me. She had quit high school when she married. She graduated high school with TJ. Her mother was a sweet woman. That she will be disappointed by my recent misdeeds saddens me, even though I have not seen her in almost a decade.
I did not go to my college graduation. I have some regrets about that now, but that is probably just sentimentality considering how drunk I got the night before graduation. My graduation party was in Yorktown, with me being late. It was a tense thing, with me being late and Mom and Dad facing off. Baby sister lived with Dad by then, so did my oldest sister, who was married then, and me not living at home; the gloves were off between Mom and Dad. They were polite, of course, but that does not mean the air was not full of tension. Mom had not liked it one bit when Dad took me out the year before on my twenty-first birthday.
I decided to take a year off before pursuing my plan for law school. The law became my goal during my first year at Ball State, but going year round since the Fall of 1979 had left me burned out on school. I took a job with one of TJ's brothers-in-law. I never got paid as much as I was told to expect. It would not be until 2009 that I missed a rent payment again. That job of working for a landscaping company ended effectively in August of 1982, and I found myself hip deep in Mr. Reagan's depression.
A friend's mother found me a job at an Indianapolis Sizzler restaurant as a management trainee. The good thing was staying again with my Aunt Elsie, but I missed TJ and hated the job. The manager hated me. I got fired for the first time.
TJ and I talked, and I went back to Ball State for a Masters in history. We talked about teaching at the college level, as I lacked any semblance of the patience needed for any other sort of teaching. I did not take my Masters seriously enough. If I had, I know my life would have been different. TJ, if you should ever read this, you were correct about what I should have done with my skills.
Sweet and kind, TJ had a temper and will of her own. We had our arguments. I did go out with a few other girls when I got mad at her. I spent a lot of 1981/1982 drinking Jack Daniel's with a redhead from Elkhart. Actually, we drank a lot of Jack Daniel's. What TJ never believed was the lack of sex - too much Jack and too much guilt. The redhead returned to Elkhart after telling me I was too much in love with TJ.
By the Fall of 1982, TJ had found me a job in Muncie working at a bar, The Island. I knew the place from my college years for its wet T-shirt contests. Mom pitched a fit at me working at a bar until I told her the wage was $4.00 per hour plus tips. Considering minimum wage was then a bit above $2 an hour, she muted her criticism.
I stayed with that job until July of 1984. While there, I learned a few things. I learned how much I liked dry martinis made with Absolut vodka and Rusty Nails and that I did not like being around drunks. I had my first experience with cocaine and cokeheads. (I walked into the tiny men's room to find one of the regulars standing there with a sheath knife in hand. I stopped wondering what the hell he was doing; he had cocaine on the knife blade, and he said, “Want to try some?” I decided best to do so. The bookkeeper extolled the virtues of cocaine to me with a voice sounding like she had found God. I was unimpressed, having been baptized at age seven. I was off to law school when I heard she could no longer control her nosebleeds.) I also learned how to evaluate and work with strangers in very different situations. (When I was hiring secretaries, I preferred those who had experience waiting tables because they really knew what it meant to work with the public.) I was happy to leave that job; the stress was horrible.
[Continued in TJ 2010 - Part 2 of 5. sch 5/4/26.]
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