Why I am Writing, 9-5-2010

 I write for several reasons. I divide my pieces generally between those for atonement, public service, and ideas needing air.

The atonement pieces came about because I do not think the federal sentencing guidelines suffice for making amends. I did wrong in many ways to many people, and they deserve both an explanation and an apology from me. Maybe this will recompense them. I doubt these writings will fully suffice for all of them. I have written on things as diverse as economic development and an outright apology as part of my atonement.

I cannot see what benefit the general public gets from incarcerating me for 151 months, unless the federal sentencing guidelines intend my sentence to deter others. In my, so far, brief entanglement with federal law enforcement, I think they will bungle any deterrent effect of my sentence. I had hopes these pieces could be published to provide the deterrence I expect to be beyond the federal government's competence; then these pieces would be thrust into places like Yahoo's adult chat rooms. No effective message of deterrence exists without taking the message into the online forums. Unfortunately, there was no way to publish these notes up to now. Maybe never.

I also think of my writing about my depression serves a public purpose. I see these as having a wider and longer importance. Depression is an insidious disease. The general public must see that. Those suffering the disease must seek treatment. I did not, and now I am prison bound.

I have had a wide range of ideas, covering the political to the artistic. I have included them. Some may prove good for the public, while others may amuse them. They serve to make up what I see as a generally useless life. I can hope they serve some useful purpose, otherwise I would have kept them to myself.

I cannot say that there is any cut and dried difference between my pieces. They are all meant for public consumption and use. The more useful they are, then they also serve my goal of making amends. There is no sense in waiting 12 years before I express myself. Maybe in that time they will see the light of day. I do not expect many of those deserving atonement from me ill not be here in 12 years. That they might see these notes impels me to get my ideas into word, and words onto paper. 

Whether I succeed depends on my readers. If I persuade one person with depress into treatment, I count my efforts a success. 

sch