What Do I Think of My Sentence? 6-19-2010

 Let me say I write this on June 19, 2010, and I have no idea what will be my actual sentence. I assume no great difference from the 151 months the federal government wants.

Why do I assume this? Frankly, I always expect a judge to take the easy route. That is human nature- to the least amount of work for the most pay.

Secondarily, I saw some very bad things, and I am therefore a moral leper. Anything but the sentence established by the Sentencing Guidelines might be taken as being lenient to my moral leprosy.

I can handle all of that. I would prefer the government and the legislature acknowledge the sentence bears no relationship to anything more rational than superstitious fears. I can handle the hypocrisy. Deceiving the public is not my to my liking, but neither am I responsible for that deception.

Anything above the statutory minimum makes atonement to my father, ex-wife, former stepsons, or anyone else, unlikely. I do not see the federal government recognizing atonement existing except as imprisonment.

Not that I thought about that when I set things in motion. I saw only death as the end result of my self-destruction. Only blood atones for some sins. Death would do for Dad and the others.

I did not see any obligation to the boys. They seemed quite happy about being shed of me. I may have been wrong about that. However, they will need to deal with how I embarrassed them without me around to help them.

Since no one is letting me die as I ought to have done this past March, I am resigned to this sentence. 

I hope my writing pays back the embarrassment I caused friends, family, and the communities of which I was a former member.

Yet, I also have a rational, objective view that this sentence will be overkill. Even for assuaging the fears of the general public, I do think the sentence will accomplish the desires of the public, or the hype of the politicians and their supporters. 

Rationally and objectively, my sentence serves best as a statistic for someone's career and job security for several layers of the federal government.

sch