Stranger in a Strange Land

The title comes from Leon Russell, not Robert Heinlein.

Saturday has been an odyssey: walked  over to the strip mall to catch the Mall bus, down to Centennial and the walk over to Wheeling; after work it was the #3 bus downtown to catch the #6 up to FedEx and Aldi's; the #6 is always a problem and I missed it going downtown; I decided to walk back to the room but I had two problems - I had bought a pint of ice cream and my left knee ached - and had a solution: wait at the Mall for the bus and eat my ice cream there. That was how 8 hours later I was dropped off where I had started.

No Calypso or Circe to divert my travels. Then, too, no Penelope waiting to greet my return. (Penelope is not related to an antelope.) I did have a pair of jeans stained from melted chocolate fudge ice cream.

I cleaned the pants then laid on the bed with the TV playing. I woke about two hours late with my left arm stuck in place and a backache that did not want me moving. 

Yes, being alive is definitely a strange land. The way I felt 2 hours ago I would have loved anyone rectifying my continued existence.

I do not like.Aldi's for grocery shopping. Not enough cashiers, cashiers more often surly as was the one today, and I never get out of the place in 30 minutes. Okay, I used up most of the 30 in FedEx printing off handbills for Monday, so more like 15. The place is smaller than Payless, I can do Payless in 30 minutes, do I should be able to Aldi's in less time. I do my own checking out at Payless.

Nor do I like Wal-Mart. It is too big. I needed some.Gorilla Glue to fix my Skechers. The toes on the right foot separated from shoe. This was Thursday. I decided to pick up some food, too. I walked like a city block on aching feet across the building. I missed my homeward bus then, too.

And there are too many people at Wal-Mart. I am waiting for the bus when this older woman starts talking about how she never started smoking even though she could have. I did not know the woman. I did not what to say to here. I was not smoking, so not sure why she confided in me - other than I attract crazy people. I implemented my usual tactic in this kind of situation: uttering innocuous words to mollify the crazy person. The hope is they move on down the line. 

I say the older woman when she could have been my age. I really have no idea how old I look to the people I meet. The cook at the restaurant calls me Papi. 

I am sitting outside listening to WMBR's Backwoods show, writing this note while thinking of going inside. I do not want to try my back. The pain tells me how old I am.

The Gorilla Glue fixed the shoes. I experimented today: the newer  10 1/2 on the left and an older size 11 on the right. No numbness in my right. Seems to be a successful experiment. I can hear my Uncle John extolling the virtues of superglue.

I went inside. Betty DeVos was on C-Span. Why do all these Trumpers have a sociopathic look in their eyes? The back still aches and now my feet are numb. But I got my cup of RC Cola.

I talked to my sister on Wednesday, I think. We got the software updated on the laptop. Except for the anti-virus. Excuse me while I do some googling.

Okay, I selected one. I got to say I am not so happy with Google. The results used to be funkier, wider.

I did not go with Kaspersky as I am pro-Ukraine.

At the warehouse, I hear plenty of anti-Biden talk. This I do not understand. It is not like Trump has any use for the proles working there  - except to get their support to get himself back in power so he can evade a felony trial. What I can glean is they think Biden is a doddering idiot. But did not Trump back Putin's invasion as a smart idea? Yes, he did. Looks to me, Putin fouled up royally and had shown the Russian army s joke. If I were China, I would be thinking backing him is not a good idea, worrying about the danger posed by Russia's military is a waste of time, and grabbing Siberia might not be too much of a risk. Probably less of a risk than invading Taiwan. Seems to me the blowhard from Mara-A-Lago is not a good judge of talent or of good ideas. Meanwhile, the Irish guy from Delaware goes on about his business seeing that Putin is, finally, put in his place.

I should have called K and KH but time got away from me. Same for Paul S. Maybe tomorrow.

Found my first problem for Monday: I have lost my bank's routing number. I got it Thursday. I put it in my pants pocket. Not there now. So much for being prepared.

Like yesterday, I left work early to catch the bus at the jail. It is a ten minute walk from work. I thought I left in time. Nope. The bus was coming around Tillotson as I turned the corner. I started running. Not easy for an old guy with bad knees and COPD. I had to look damned silly. Lucky for me the driver takes a cigarette break at the jail. I was on schedule. Then I get a call from the counselor letting me know he had a cancellation. 

I got to say this counselor listened to me. I hope he knows he is dealing with a moron. He wants me to think about what triggered my bad behavior. This all I can recall:

1. Money - the lack of eas a stressor for my depression and out of the depression came my self-destructive activities.
2. People thinking I could make their lives better.
3. Me thinking I could help others and failing.  
4. Malicious people.
5. The gap between my ambition and my accomplishments  
6. Anybody daring me to do something.

It has been so long since I decided to not go back to my old life that I have felt the old impulses. 

At least, he did not leave me with the impression he expects me to jump out of the bushes at some unsuspecting maiden. Other professionals I have met since May 6, 2021 have left me thinking they think I am The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Just crossed my mind some of the strangeness felt comes from how little I have to do with other people. Not much interaction with those with me carrying boxes of Chinese-made plasticware from a semi-truck trailer to a pallet. There is more at the restaurant but not that much. The cashiers at McClure's know me without knowing anything about me. It is about the same for the bus drivers, excluding those who see me to my different employers.

I have yet to hear from niece. The one nephew who told his aunt he wanted an apology from me has also not contacted me. E keeps promising me a visit. With her cancer diagnosis, T2 Says she will not visit. It is not that I feel left out or am pining for company. It is more a faint sensation of disconnection. Not that I want any adventures. I think I have had more than enough of them. Nor is it an unpleasant feeling. When the PO or the polygrapher ask about my sex life, this disconnection flavors their concern with a distinct hilarity. Probably one they would disapprove of but it is good to work and stay at home and sleep. It saves me from crazy old ladies complaining about how they never started smoking cigarettes.

More important to me, I got a rejection on another piece, a play:

Thank you for sending us "Masque of the Red Death: An Adaptation for the Stage". We understand that much time and effort goes into the literary realization of a creative thought, and we sincerely appreciate the chance to read your work. Although your piece was not selected for publication this time, we are grateful for your participation in Lazuli Literary Group’s writing community!

We earnestly regret that we do not yet have the resources to respond to each submission individually, but we can assure you that each piece was considered with careful deliberation. Our decisions ultimately come down to taste and style, which is wholly a subjective matter and should absolutely not be construed as commentary on the value of your piece. Just as one opts for certain books (and not others) from a vast shelf, we choose the works that are most personally compelling to us, fully recognizing that others are of equal merit, standing in wait to dazzle another potential reader. After all, we think providing a space for the diversity of taste is precisely what makes the array of literature beautiful! 

If you are interested in submitting a second piece that may be a better fit for us, you are absolutely welcome to. You can get a sense of our style from our submissions guidelines page and, of course, from past issues (all free online).

To continued success in your writing life!

Best regards,

Sakina B. Fakhri

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Co-Founder  |  Editor 

Lazuli Literary Group  |  AZURE: A Journal of Literary Thought 

www.lazuliliterarygroup.com

I am thinking I may be a bit too grimy for the MFAs. (That is for KH.)

I found out I can listen to YouTube on the walk along Centennial. I was listening to Year of the Cat - a song that remains touching to me even if it is more knowing the differences between was once thought possible and what has happened since then - when I saw this:

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Okay, not the best photo of two kittens. I thought them a good sign. 

And I also heard this song from Leon Russell which seems to have colored the rest of the day:

I seem to appreciate Russell more now than I did in high school and college. Could this be a sign that with age comes wisdom? I am not convinced I am the best example of this proverb.

I got a taxi to take me to work. They are to be here at 8:30. It is supposed to rain and the taxi eas cheaper than a new umbrella.

Good night and best wishes 

sch