Therapy's Limits

 Anyone reading the early posts under Supervised Life knows the problems I had with group therapy. I have had better luck with one-on-one counseling, but there the counselor lets me babble rather than depend solely on questions. I learned during my days as a lawyer how a witness babbling along usually let out more information than they would have otherwise. This is why I always instructed my witnesses to only answer the question asked, and it is why Trump's lawyers do not want him testifying under oath.

But my therapy only has one concern: am I a danger to myself or to others. I agree with The question therapy doesn’t answer: who are we really, really?

The question that we explored together – ‘Who are you, really?’ – is hugely important, and it must be answered coherently if one is to find a way through this relational world. On what other foundation could we hope to build and sustain intimacy; honestly present ourselves to others; comprehend why we think and feel and react the ways we do; behave in alignment with our values; or even know what we truly like and need? If I am to find love, meaningful work and some semblance of satisfaction in this life, I must know myself well (and hopefully with some compassion) at the level of ‘Eric

I work more on this question here on this blog and my other writing, a definite answer is not yet available. Below, I would emphasize the "not a spiritual practice." Also, the feelings of emptiness, disappointment, anxiety, confusion, alienation were well known to me before my arrest. They fed my depression, and self-destruction seemed the only cure. Death eluded me, but what had been defining my life at the time. Not a solution I suggest. A solution I wished I had missed out on, except for the freedom I now have.

"Psychotherapy, for all its enormous use and even beauty, is not a spiritual practice. That it is often treated like one speaks to the pursuit of self at the core of our basic acts of meaning-making. In seeking to understand the situation in which humans so strangely find ourselves (‘What is going on here?’), many of us respond with an emphatic assertion of selfhood: ‘Why, I am going on here!’ Often, we become consumed with trying to live an important life, typically as compared with the importance of other people.

All the while, for many, a hunger remains. My psychotherapy practice is filled with successful people who fear they are missing the meal. They’ve taken their personhood to a winning place, and yet so often they feel empty, disappointed, anxious, confused, alienated.

Of my freedom, I think some of it has to be recognizing human beings - even me- have a spirit which needs attention. Orthodox Christianity helped broaden my understanding of spirituality as part of humanity.

But, in the end, an answer is perhaps entirely unnecessary. What’s needed is not-knowing in a particular kind of way: with a sense of wonder, of mystery and, perhaps above all, of belonging here. In the undifferentiated space of spiritual experience, we are not interlopers in a strange land, we are simply of this place. We are, and can only be, home

Think about it. Do not think help unneeded or impossible. Stop and take account of yourself. Existence is a mystery. We must attend to ourselves, our own souls, rather than compete with others. No perfection exists here, that is an expectation we must put aside for being our best and doing our best. Such are my opinions.

sch 10/17/22