Tolstoy on How to Live

Before prison, I avoided the Russians. Then I started filling in my education. That meant me reading the Russians. They bowled me over. I kicked myself over not reading War and Peace when I was much younger.

Now I may read too much about Russian writers such as The Genius of Leo Tolstoy: The Meaning of Life Is The Meaning We Put Into It. Except this does fit into the thinking I had when young and which makes sense to me now:

Tolstoy thought your first responsibility in life is to understand your purpose, meaning and yourself. By striving to understand yourself and others, you can live your life to the fullest.

His ideas on living a meaningful life can be summarized in three principles: Be happy, be kind, and be useful. Being happy means finding joy in your daily life. It means developing good relationships with other people.

Unhappiness about myself, my life, my career, my world fed my depression and my depression fed my unhappiness. I was not kind to myself or to the people around me. I felt myself more useful if I were dead.

Well, I failed at suicide but succeeded in destroying my life. I lost the stressors in my life but needed to find a purpose to live. Reading about the Orthodox saints gave me examples to follow. The Church Fathers and secular philosophers gave me ideas. Where I am now  agrees with what Tolstoy thought. Having seen how not to live, I do not know if there is any other way of living.

sch 7/13/22