Snowy Friday

I got to work only to find not many others had shown up. They put me on the weaver line. More puzzles, not popcorn. They should be on their way to a Wal-Mart near you (if I heard correctly). Then they shifted us to bagging auto parts - clamps - until it was time to go. In a hurry to meet the bus, my clocking out went bad and I forgot my hummus leftovers. Outside there was a semi-truck sprawled across the street. The 3:30 bus did not come by. We walked down to Hoyt Avenue to meet the #17 bus only to be picked up by the #12. Five minutes later I figured out I had left behind my hummus.

I chose not to fast tonight. I had really planned on that hummus.

I stopped for supplies at McClure's. It was - is - cold.

Back here I ate and watched 2hours of Farscape and got through my email. I posted here about my latest rejection.

I scheduled posts for the blog and here I am.

I checked on who might be reading this blog. Looks like no one besides a few of my friends. I will not stop. It is a bit of therapy. I also made a promise that do long as the government makes me register and makes that registry public I will publicly report on my life on supervised release. Lastly, some of you are concerned about me and I have promised myself to never again compartmentalize my life and so I make these daily (or close to daily) notes.

I used to live my life as if I was just passing through. The hard thing here is that I have gotten ahead of myself. I did not spend my prison sleeping away my time. I did a lot of thinking. I wrote a lot about I thought. Where I am now is with conclusions and decisions. One conclusion was that I lived on borrowed time and that I had to use the time left me in a useful way. All that I had left myself of any usefulness was in my writing. Out of that I concluded I had to stop drifting, that I had to  make a stand somewhere, a stand for something. Blame KH for starting me on this kick. Blame me for the sins I commit against American literature.

Out east they do not play much of John Mellancamp. One song of his, what I think of as his best, got in my head. You can follow this link to hear it. I no longer want to do any falling.

I am healthier than I was in 2009. No longer do my insides bleed. I have not had a staph infection in over a decade. Prison was like a health farm for me in this respect. Only the lungs remain a problem.

If I had been healthier in 2009, I would not have my problems I have. If I had not had my breakdown, I would not have changed my life. There are always trade offs. The value of those trade offs remain unknown. You, dear reader, will have to be my judges.

I will offer up a singer I heard on the Philadelphia radio, Sturgill Simpson. The song is "Brace For Impact (Live A Little).

I will close with another song - Roger Miller's Dang Me. How about, K? Weeping is verboten, got that?

Enjoy and thanks for reading.

sch