I Quit

I walked out of Texas Roadhouse tonight. Sal did not show up. I would have been both unloading and running. I am no longer capable of doing both. I asked when Sal was to be coming and got put off both times. I have mangled up my left elbow by working alone. I stayed long enough to get Jose and Pat caught up but not so long as to miss the last North Walnut bus. I shook hands with Pat, apologized, and left.

I have never done any such thing. 

Sal said last night that he felt a cold coming on. I knew he was going to skip out on work tonight. His grandfather Jose gave me this shifty look when I asked if Sal was coming in. I was not happy thinking I might be working alone. I lost my temper when possibility became certainty.

So much for positive thinking. Positive thinking that ignores factual reality is delusion. Bad enough the Republicans have lost any connection with reality, I cannot afford delusions. Depression is negative thinking that ignores reality. Lucidity understands the facts regardless of those facts being negative or positive.

I have done enough harm to myself with this dishwashing gig. Working solo would have done me no good. I lost my temper without flying off the handle (the Zoloft helps keep me from doing that). That I left to keep me from harming myself differs from the old days when I sought out self-harm.

I stopped off at the Dollar General for ice cream. That I just lost more than $100 in wages I worked through with the help of Edy's mint chocolate chip while listening to the Blues Show on WXPN.

Three days to get ready for the new job.

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