Procrastination or Obsession?

 I did not make the BMV this morning. I put it off till tomorrow. The hip was hurting. My afternoon is filled up until work, I set out writing up my notes for this blog. I finished transcribing my notes from the journal I kept at the Volunteers of America halfway house. They will be found through the label below or at https://samhasler.blogspot.com/search/label/halfway%20house%20life I want to get to 500 posts so Google will let post advertising. I am looking for more income than from dishwashing.

I did make the interview for the second job. They liked me, they want me, but I do not expect to get the job.

Then I went off to check out an apartment. This is one only if I get the second job. It will be a short walk. I am not sure if it had electrical outlets, I estimated a double bed would take up the only room that could be used for a bedroom.

Work went well enough - until I took a fall with the big mixing bowl. The bowl that might weigh about 40 - 50 pounds. I banged up my bad knee. This morning it is bruised. Last night, it shook me up.

Going home, I found my probation officer had texted me. I called back immediately and got the ever-present voicemail. Back in the room, I found his card and a voicemail. I sent him an email. 

I saw a mouse scurrying across the parking lot of a gas station. The fist I have seen since 2009.

I crawled into bed. I even forgot to take my Zoloft. I was that tired, my knee throbbed that much.

I woke at 6 and went to work on job applications after an apple and a bagel for breakfast. I put in for about a half dozen jobs, mostly restaurant server jobs although one was for Aldi's.  I showed and headed out to the BMV. 

I still did not have the documentation wanted by the BMV. I came back to the motel and found the management more than willing to do a letter on their letterhead.

Back in the room, I checked my email. No response from my PO. I called Social Security to check on my application for SSI.  It remains pending. I also changed my address to this place. 

Not having heard from my PO, I called him. He had questions about my jo and the potential job. I gave him the number for the potential job He wants to make sure I will not have access to the internet. If I had any doubts about losing that job, they are gone now.

I got the letter from the motel. I fixed myself lunch while listening to Doctor Who on BBC America. I have to decide if I will return to the BMV this afternoon or wait for tomorrow. I think I have another hour to make up my mind Happily, the rain has held off. It is chilly, though. I would like to rest for work tonight which I can do while writing. 

This needing money, needing a job and the likelihood of having neither has caused a rise in my anxiety without driving me into despondency. 

I go to work at 4:30.

sch