Leaving Fort Dix FCI

 Leaving Ft. Dix FCI was nothing like Leaving Las Vegas (a movie I have yet to see).  I had a bag that weighed maybe 50pounds that almost killed me. My COPD kicked in hard. I broke fingernails. The cloth mask had me choking. A particular lieutenant told me to get my mask on and stood watching as I did so. Martinet is the word that came to mind - a word seldom used today. Since I recall finding the word most often in a military context, maybe the wider world hasn't encountered the word and they should. It certainly has a home in the quasi-military worlds of the police and prison guards.I made it ti R & D across the compound from Unit 5803 out of breath, but alive.

The government put my remaining commissary funds on a debit card. I then carried my bag to a gove3rnment mini-van. Another surprise: Counselors Jones and Castellanos drove me to the Philadelphia airport. Ah, the bane of my existence! No problems. I even told them to have a safe trip back.

You, dear reader, should know I was left unsupervised in the Philadelphia International Airport for around four hours. The Republic survived. No one was harmed. I finally understand Spanx thanks to a store in the airport and from a few women wearing them. I suspect they did very well during this plague year since they struck me as a cross between sweats and pajamas. I did not have my bag - that got checked in. Thank you, KH for the funds to pull that off. Also thanks for the Philly cheese-steak and The New Yorker and the Harper's.

The government flew me into Indianapolis on a small Republic jet. We did not crash,obviously. We did all wear masks. I have decided although I do not like to fly,I really hate take offs. I should have gone to Europe when I thought of it 20 years ago. The skies were cloudy,the whole thing was rather boring.

I got a taxi to the halfway house. Thank you, again, KH, I skipped the bus.No way I could have carried my bag 10 blocks and survived.

Why worry about the bag? Because with it came the last 18 months worth of writing: 2 plays, a screenplay, the second part of my novel "No Clean Slates," and the start of "Chasing Ashes." I brought along Raintree County or KH and the Oxford University Press Thesaurus for me. I have this notebook and paper for a few weeks. I have my Orthodox Study Bible.  I have my reading list for the coming year. I brought out of prison what has improved my life these past 11 years, and what I hope will be my future.

And this will be my last entry under "Prison Life." I have embarrassed my family, my friends,myself to such an extent I thought - still think at times - only my death can cancel the embarrassment. My halfway house case manager asked what I want. I told her what I thought she would understand: a job, a life, with purpose. To myself I will say this: to do what I can to balance the ugliness I contributed to in this life, to do  what I can to be more honorable. No more prison. That will only get in the way of my goals.

sch

5/11/21