Last Time: Do I Need AA?

I have what I learned form Orthodox Christianity and from philosophy and I am in a lucid enough mind to apply my knowledge. The Greeks thought the luckiest man was the one who had never been born and to never judge a man's life till he was dead. The Orthodox Church emphasizes humility, the imitating of Christ. Maybe I have learned to take more seriously what I do with my my life than in having a Life.

That is, earthly attainments are meaningless in contrast to spiritual attainments. Along those lines I must also point to Albert Camus and Victor Frankl with their emphasis on humanity confronting existence with creativity. Here is another reason I for my writing. I can accept nothing I have written seeing the light of day ass God's will. My job was only to confront the universe and put down that confrontation in words as honest as I can with what God-given talents I possess. We must fight back against the ugliness without regard to our success in this world.

If I start getting the itch to get self-destructive again,I will seek out counseling services. If I feel the urge to fire up a crack pipe,I will call AA. I have had no such urge here at a halfway house where drugs have been offered to me. Let me tell you as I have told E- since my arrival at Fort Dix,if I wanted to get intoxicated to escape my existence then prison was the place to go to get high - drugs and alcohol were very available there. This halfway house actually has less alcohol than did the federal prison. I never needed to wait on Muncie to get high.

Now, let me say,along time ago ,which if those notes have not been lost, I came to understand how I had let people project on me what was not me and that I was done allowing those kind of projections. Here, E- meant the best for me unlike LAH.

Let's see what happens.

sch

5/31/21