[ I am back working through my pretrial detention journal. It is out of order… Well, the order is as I have opened boxes. The date in the title is the date it was written. I hope this is not confusing. You can find everything from my pretrial detention journal that is published under the "Pretrial Detention" link under topics on the right hand of your screen.
This is the earliest piece that I have found - so far. I changed the title to better deal with my monitoring software. It was written about 2 weeks after my arrest.
The idea I had fifteen years ago was to make this public at the time of writing. No willing collaborators were found. They may have been correct in the short run. It was writing - trying to understand what I had done, why I had done it, and what was coming my way when I changed from original, self-destructive intentions. I leave it to you to make the decision, if it should have been published in 2010, or even now.
I think the new title better fits the subject.
What you are reading is what you get for your tax dollars. sch 11/11/2025]
Some may not know that I am under arrest by federal authorities for sending illegal images. Well, I am.
I have been released on my recognizance to an Indianapolis facility, where I am on lockdown. Lockdown, meaning I leave the facility only court approval.
I started writing about what and why I got myself in this position. I think I owe many, many people an explanation.
Confessions are good for the soul, but I am not sure how interesting confession makes a story. I avoid most confessions because the usual theme is "woe is me". I promise no whining, no self-pity.
If I can help others avoid problems that led me to prison, then stripping myself in public serves its purpose. Atonement and penance remain constantly in my mind.
Not sure how often things will be published. I ought to have enough for a daily read, but the actual publishing is being done for me. Having enmeshed friends and family, I cannot dictate a publishing schedule.
As well as confessions, I may also add things that have been on my mind that I want to say. It looks like I will be in prison for the next 14 years. Which means I better say what I have to say and not worry about recrimination. I know if I survive prison, I can never go home again.
sch
[2025 talking to 2010: he was still looking for some way to kill himself at this time. What delayed action was finding a means that would be definitely fatal. He had not had much luck with that up to this point. The conversations that would turn him him from suicide to just waiting on his COPD were in the future. In the next month, if memory serves. Certainly within the next 6 weeks.sch 11/11/2025.]
God always listens
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