Writing and Spite

 I seem to recall Nelson Algren in Nonconformity suggesting spite as a motive for writing. I won't say there has not been a little spite in some of my stories. More spite exists in my motivation to generally keep on writing, the target of my spite being myself more than anything else.

Although only one rejection has annoyed me, I understand the motivational energy Vanessa A. Bee writes about in How Writers Can Make Rejection Work For Them:

I felt the determination to prove wrong each of the editors who rejected me. Indeed, there were times the only progress I made was buoyed by the desire to write a book so compelling that any editor who ever underestimated me would regret it. I carried the thirty-plus rejections in a figurative fanny pack that I brought to my writing practice with the same determination that made me hold on to Mr. N.’s prediction until the AP Calculus exam. I allowed myself to feel anger, and its natural companion, spite, as often as needed to get through the last edits.

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Rejection, however gentle and however valid, is still rejection. I think writers should be permitted to take it personally, and to be open about it, when so much of writing is personal. Let them channel that spiteful energy into their work, if spiteful energy is the fuel they need to unlock their full potential. Certainly, I did. Perhaps this admission is beneath me, a failure to demonstrate humility. But this is how I bet on myself. And I know my book is the better for it.

 Once upon a time I slid away in the face of rejection and feelings of inferiority. I want to warn off everyone who might repeat my mistakes.

sch 10/12/22